i once had a girlfriend but then one day she dumped me and everywhere i go people would ask me where she was i don't want to talk about her someone always asks about her so i tell them all my girlfriends dead i say its leukemia or sometimes bulemia or a great big truck ran her over and chopped off her head i don't want to talk about her someone always asks about her so i tell them all shes dead i guess theres a part of me that lacks sympathy oh the looks on their faces when i tell them how she passed away i don't want to talk about her someone always asks about her so i tell them all shes dead [my girlfriends dead...] my girlfriends dead you see its a total lie but its easier on me than having to admit that she likes someone else [my girlfriends dead...] my girlfriends dead you know please change the subject, im going to go jump off a building and join her in heaven i don't want to talk about her someone always asks about her i don't want to talk about her someone alwayss asks about her so i tell them all my girlfriends dead

Here in America, respect your fellow man - Some foreign cultures don't understand - We got this little rule and it's called elbow room - Pertaining to the spacial occupancy you consume - It I'm in front of line, then you should stay behind - Until I get my iceless soda. - It's such a simple thing it's called first come first serve - Wooden clogs that smash my feet I really don't deserve - In every region it seems there's a legion of impatient close talking - slime, that cut in line. - Barge me with your walkin' spray me with your talkin' - I am the ambassador of kick your assador - What's your affinity for my vicinity. - There's plenty room here in your country - It's just etiquette to use deodorant. - Maybe smelling bad's the way you choose to represent - Boozy and stinkin' I smell what your thinkin' - I just need a little more space Get out my face - Barge me with your walkin', spray me with your talkin' - Back the fuck up ass hole shut your bread & cheese hole - Tryin' to make myself clear, give me just a foot here - You offend my sinus, I'll kick your royal highness - I'll see your Euro-barge by friend, and raise you one Ugly American - Barge me with your walkin' spray me with your talkin' - Push you out of the way sock you in the pate' - Step right off you inbred, hygiene like a deadhead - I am the ambassador, of fuckin' kick your assador!

Some people are bad and they don't give a damn - what they do or who they hurt. - They go through their lives and don't apologize - for the shit that they've disturbed. - But they don't bother me at all 'cause I know quite well - When their lives are over and they've done what they've done - They're the people that are going to hell - Some beat their wives or pull out a knife - and stab a person or two or three - with no repercussions and no one here can touch them - and they get away scott free - But that's not the case you see and I'm glad to tell - When their lives are over and they've done what they've done - They're the people that are going to hell - They will spend eternity cursing all they've done - faced with karma consequences and nowhere left to run - They will be in agony until the end of time - 'cause they were such ass holes while alive - So try and be nice and to do what's right 'cause there will come a day - When you're faced with your maker and no one here can save you - No matter what they say. - And be glad that you were good 'cause some don't do so well and - when their lives are over and they've done what they've done - They're the people that are going to hell

I got an idea for a movie, - and it goes like this - (Check it out) It's about a boy who gets his finger caught - In a bottle of Mr. Pibb - And they go on adventures, - I think it could be big - Is it too soon to whisper Oscar? - Put a happy ending there and it'll write itself, I swear - All we need are some meetings and a lead - I got an idea for a movie, - It's about this guy - Who wished and wished 'til it came true, - And now this kid can fly - I got an idea for a movie, - and here's my pitch - I get a job and quit my band, - And you stop being a bitch - And we will have adventures, - Like the boy and his bottle did - Is it too soon to whisper Oscar? - Put a happy ending there and it'll write itself, I swear - All we need are some meetings and a lead - With a happy ending there this thing will write itself, I swear - All we need is some trick photography - I forgot one thing about the guy - Who gained the ability to fly - It was actually only for a foot or two - And only an inch or so high