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Larry The Cable Guy

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Daniel Lawrence Whitney (born February 17, 1963 in Pawnee City, Nebraska), better known by the stage name Larry the Cable Guy, is an American stand-up comedian and one of the co-stars of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour and the subsequent series Blue Collar TV.


Top Songs

Total plays on over the last 6 months
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    Some girl's banging on my door the other day at four o'clock in the morning. I was like, "What in the world?" You know? So I got up and let her out. Tell you what, I was madder than Janet Reno's blind date.
    I met this guy a while back, looked like Shania Twain. Only a little shorter, and, uh, faces were different. I was drunk, it looked like Shania Twain. Next morning Mark Twain is laying there next to me there, he--ho, ho--she was ugly, now. I take her to Glamour Shops, get her an estimate, you know. She was--man, she was ugly right there. She had marks on her from where people had been touching her with the ten-foot poles!
    I don't like Miami too much though, there's a lot of drugs and stuff. I was down there in broad daylight, car drive by, says, "You want some cocaine?"
    I'm like, "No, officer."
    I don't do drugs. I don't know what I'm doing. I tried smoking mushrooms once, couldn't keep the pizza lit, you know, so I quit doing that. I tell you, I was madder than a three-legged dog trying to bury a turd on an icy lake, I tell you what.
    Couldn't Keep The Pizza Lit  -  19,627 plays
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